Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Vampire Mooose - The Reel







Yet another band obviously boasting extreme stupidity when it comes spelling their own moniker. The extra "o" chosen perhaps because they've soaked themselves in nu-metal or they're pushing the boundaries and the English language deserves a beating once in a while. 


The band take on the listener with monotonous death grunts placed everywhere, chugging over PANTERA riffs, the whole done-to-death stop/start breakdown reigning supreme. These guys want you to know they're edgy: "Pot Pie" has a sample mentioning seventeen swear words (go ahead and take a random stab at what the first lyrics are). The song proves crossing KORN with death metal is as terrible in practice as it is in theory. A hamfisted NOMEANSNO and VICTIM'S FAMILTY jazz-punk guitar bridge swings in "Someone Kill Don Henley", but while those bands knew where to place their off-kilter explorations, it just doesn't work well for VAMPIRE MOOOSE as it's all too clear they're stretching beyond themselves. The TOOL worship of "Angra Manyu" is a square peg in a round hole, and "La Tumba" is a weakly-inked facsimile of the PANTERA song "Walk". The angry pig vocals may be different but this was obviously written in less than two minutes. I'd say credit the band for another daring move, but it won't pay off as we're ten songs in and I seriously doubt many will have the endurance to make it this far. 


While there are some amusing movie samples, the actual music on "The Reel" is a bigger patience-tester than waiting in a queue to see the latest blockbuster movie. But unlike enduring this nu-groove death metal borefest, buying tickets for a decent flick is typically a worthwhile experience. 
1/5




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